It seems strange that the best way of knowing ourself is through our failings. Accepting our faults with a compassionate and true heart enables us to come into a place of inner peace and freedom.
In loss, grief or inner distress. .. we grope in pain to embrace the hidden self – fallible and frail. We meet our limits and our reality … in a way – our ‘true self’.
Our ‘true self’ is not out there floating on the clouds in some ideal person, but grounded, vulnerable and wounded.
The radical part of this, for me, is that in ‘knowing’ my own weakness I have also come into a ‘knowing’ of my God and grown in compassion for others. This is not new for those who have been through the valleys, but it is renewing and always a revelation.
In times of travail, as I cried out “If you are real God, show yourself .. come,” – my mustard seed of faith, carried in the smallest cry, reached the highest heavens. Grace came and answered my deepest needs.
I did not think my deepest need was to be found in relationship with God. But this became the centre of a pivotal knowing by experience. This was my first step into a life of faith…to call, wait and hope. This is the faith life -to live in the unknowing waiting expectantly for the light.
The Spirit meets us in our powerlessness and we are joined to a new Truth – our solace and our strength is in God alone. All else is delusion or illusion of our mind attempting to reinterpret our deep experience.
Becoming aware of our inner truth is an ongoing process of constantly turning back and discovering God and self in relationship.
Lent is a season of grace and compassion. It is a time in which we set aside judgement and condemnation of self and others and turn inward to find new love and realise our hopes.
Over time we get in touch with our frailty and fault lines and the Spirit leads us with a humble contrite heart to repentance, forgiveness, healing and renewed life.
We ‘Trust in the slow works of God’ ∗ and in the unfolding mystery of our lives. The Poetry and Prayer Pages may be helpful to your quiet reflections and include a work from ∗Pierre Teilhard de Chardin.
